


warm

by maimie



Category: Produce 101 (TV), X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Confessions, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-09-30 09:30:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20444921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maimie/pseuds/maimie
Summary: “It’s worth it.” Seungyoun said simply and then Wooseok’s most favourite look of him was right there; a big smile with eyes looking like crescents. “It’s okay to physically hurt if you are the one who’s causing it.”





	warm

“I’m sick.” Wooseok said all of a sudden and the way Seungyoun almost started laughing but he bit his lip to stop himself was enough of a sign that he was aware of that. 

Seungyoun pulled the blanket a bit tighter around Wooseok. “Are you? You kept saying you were fine during practice earlier though?”

The hint of teasing was right there in his voice and if Wooseok had the strength he would flick the older on his forehead. He hoped his stare had the same effect. “Shut up and turn some of the lights off please.” 

Seungyoun looked up for a second and probably noticing how it was way too bright in the room he stood up with a nod. It was merely 10 seconds before he came back after dimming the lights, sitting right next to where Wooseok was laying down in the bed again. “Is this alright?”

Finally being able to open his eyes a bit more Wooseok gave a nod as a reply, since he now had a slight ache somewhere around his throat and it was uncomfortable to speak. Seungyoun was looking at him with his signature smile again in no time, mouth closed shut and the corner of his lips slightly upwards, Wooseok couldn’t help but smile a little back at him.

“Is that pity I see on your face? If it is, you better keep it.” His voice was hoarse and Wooseok knew Seungyoun noticed it too. If anything now he seemed like he felt sorry for him even more and Wooseok just wanted to wipe that look in his eyes off somehow. 

“I think your condition is getting worse. This is not good. You really should have just stayed here resting today.” The concern was clear in Seungyoun’s voice. Wooseok felt grateful, he knew not everyone had the chance to have 10 groupmates taking care of them when they were sick, but it was getting suffocating sometimes. Wooseok was not a person who loved attention off-stage and it was all he got during their practice today. He even had to yell that he was feeling okay after Minhee offered giving his legs a massage during their break, luckily Minhee didn’t take it the wrong way and members toned it down a little bit after his little outburst.

That was not the case for Seungyoun however; he kept glancing at Wooseok whenever he could while they were touching on the details of the same moves they have been eating up for over a month now and Wooseok noticed all of it. Of course he didn’t tell that to the other male because he knew what it was like to tell Seungyoun to not do something, he would just keep staring at him this time just to do it. 

During their breaks he also kept coming near Wooseok, just to make a small conversation about their upcoming schedules but he also made sure to ask Wooseok how was he feeling in between and then he would change the subject again in no time so Wooseok couldn’t yell at him the way he did to Minhee. He even made an excuse once to check his fever saying ‘ _ your hair looks all weird’  _ and next thing Wooseok knew Seungyoun’s hand was on his forehead and his palm was pressing onto it for longer than necessary. Wooseok couldn’t even say anything, he felt Seungyoun fixing his hair just for the sake of it and then the other one smiled him quickly before leaving to annoy Hangyul.

Seungyoun had the same smile on again and Wooseok was really conflicted about how he felt about it. Half of him just wanted to smack it off and he just knew the other half was about to make him blush for no reason. “Can you just stop smiling at me like I am on my death bed and you are trying to make my last minutes good?” 

Wooseok’s words just made Seungyoun give a toothy smile this time. And no, Wooseok  didn’t  like it. “Are you trying to imply that my smile makes you feel good?”

“You are impossible.” Wooseok’s sigh and Seungyoun’s laugh were in unison. “You didn’t have to stay in just for me. We barely get time off and I’m doing fine anyway.”

“The way you look tells me otherwise. Being red all over doesn’t suit your pretty face.” Wooseok had no chance to dwell on the very unexpected compliment when Seungyoun pulled one of his legs upto the bed to make himself more comfortable. And the stupid smile was still glued on his face. “Besides we were both supposed to meet up with Jinhyuk. Leaving behind my company wouldn’t be so ethical.”

“Still. You could do something else.” Wooseok knew Seungyoun had many friends he wanted to meet up. He felt like he was keeping Seungyoun back even though this was not his plan in the first place.

Seungyoun leaned in a bit more towards him. Wooseok knew this was not healthy. “Too late. I’m already here.”

“You are going to end up sick like me. Don’t get too close.” He tried to move to the right side of the bed as much as he could with the little strength he had, and he had very little of that after hours of practice plus his weak immune system. “This is so annoying. I can’t even move my body.”

Wooseok realized he shouldn’t have said that out loud because Seungyoun got even closer to him in no time. One of his hands was on his forehead just like earlier that day and when Wooseok felt another hand in his damp hair he almost forgot how to function. 

“Do you feel worse? Painkillers should have kicked in by now.” Wooseok couldn’t recall if he heard Seungyoun’s voice this serious before. He just didn’t know what was going on right now. “I don’t think you have fever but should we just go to hospital? I’m going to call-“

“Why do you care so much?” Wooseok didn’t mean to say it but the words left his mouth somehow. He almost regretted it when Seungyoun slowly pulled his hands back with slight confusion in his eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“Why do you care about me this much?” The words was leaving Wooseok’s mouth without a struggle. He didn’t know if it was the sickness itself making him bold or if it was the medicines but maybe this was exactly what he needed after all this time. 

“I’m just doing what a decent friend would do.” Seungyoun was slightly frowning, Wooseok decided he didn’t like that look on his face at all. 

“No, a decent friend would tell me to rest well and ask me if I need anything before going out to do whatever they had planned to do for days now. On their only break. Just like all the others did.” Wooseok really had no filter on whenever he wanted to speak his mind. But he knew he was at the border of something dangerous with this one.

The silence after his words was suffocating. Seungyoun kept staring at him for God knows how long and Wooseok could feel the tension building up in no time.

Second chances came rarely in life and Wooseok learned it the hard way. This whole thing, his debut with X1 was exactly that for him and along the way he had no expectations about actually making it. It was only when he saw his face along with Yohan on the big screen that everything finally started to sink in and a pair of crescent eyes looking down at him with a big smile as he walked to his seat was what made him realize that it was all very real.

He made it and he knew he couldn’t let any distractions or any stupid feelings ruin this for himself or anyone else. He had to focus on their debut and do his best; but the more he tried to ignore the way he felt whenever he looked into the very same eyes, the more he felt like he was falling down into something scary and unknown with nothing to grab on to save himself from the plummet.

Now the very same eyes was looking at him again and Wooseok just had to know. He already threw his last drop of caution away when he asked Seungyoun why did he care a moment ago and he could face whatever would be the outcome. Or at least that’s what he thought.

He had to know why Seungyoun would look at him whenever he was talking about something stupid and Wooseok would catch his eyes looking at him before he turned his head away and there would always be something so warm and intimidating in there. He had to know why whenever he felt like shit Seungyoun would somehow know about it and he would come near then he wouldn’t leave his side until Wooseok lets out a laugh. He had to know why he would always come up to Minhee and his shared room just to say good night even if he was so tired and why his eyes would linger on him way longer than it would on Minhee. He had to know the reason behind the unexpected warm hugs and lingering touches. 

He had to know if it was just him being stupid and Seungyoun meant nothing more than being a friend with all that, or if it was really something more than that and Wooseok was not being ridiculous.

“I think you know why.” A very familiar soft voice was what brought Wooseok back to his senses. When he focused back on Seungyoun’s face the frown was replaced with something vulnerable and almost something... sad. Wooseok felt his heart clench.

Seungyoun didn’t wait for him to say anything and he managed to lean in even more. His face was right above Wooseok and his breath was caught in his throat when Seungyoun’s hand was in his hair again, this time almost caressing him. Wooseok heard his heart thumping in his own ears and he knew Seungyoun could hear it too if he focused. “Do you know how I felt when I saw you coming into the kitchen this morning looking like you would pass out any second?” 

Wooseok woke up feeling like shit and he could only guess how terrible he looked when he saw his members leaving their breakfasts giving him looks full of worry accompanied with Seungwoo scolding him saying he never takes care of himself. He remembered how he saw something more in Seungyoun’s eyes and the way he was on his feet so quickly to give Wooseok his own seat was something he could think about all day. He didn’t however, he simply didn’t have the time or energy.

“I‘m sure I didn’t look that bad.” Wooseok said very quietly, deep down worried if he spoke any louder Seungyoun would just pull away. It was stupid, really.

Seungyoun’s hand in his hair caressed him one more time. Wooseok almost forgot it was there since he could just focus on Seungyoun’s eyes now. It almost was like they were getting somehow even warmer every second and Wooseok felt like he was melting down under his gaze. “Maybe. Doesn’t change the fact that I was scared something would actually happen to you.”

Wooseok couldn’t breathe. “What... What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that I care about you. Hell, I would be sick instead of you if I could just do it if it meant you would feel good.”

Wooseok was dizzy. Not that he already wasn’t but now he could feel his whole world spinning. He knew what this meant, he was not stupid, but he still had to make sure it was not just his mind playing dirty games. “Is this how you confess?”

Wooseok was literally terrified for a moment when Seungyoun didn’t react in any way.  _Oh fuck_,  he thought,  _ I fucked it up. I fucked it up so bad.  _

It felt like it went on forever and Wooseok felt actual tears at the corner of his eyes. The last time he cried was during the finale of the Produce and Seungyoun was the one who made him laugh heartily again at the backstage when cameras were finally off. He remembered every single word he said to him. _“It might not mean something to you and I know I’m not Jinhyuk but I’ll be here for you. Whether you need me or not, hell, I’m gonna annoy you as much as he does. And you won’t be able to do anything about it because you know I won’t stop anyway.”_

And he was always there for Wooseok, just like he said. He didn’t know what he would do if he lost this, if he lost _him. _He would be okay if they were only friends and nothing more. He just needed Seungyoun in his life, it didn’t matter how it was.

Wooseok just felt stupid. He was so stupid to think it was something more than it already was, he should have known that it wasn’t. Seungyoun took care of everyone and was always affectionate. He couldn’t believe he made himself believe something could actually happen. Now he was going to lose Seungyoun’s friendship and -

“I like you.” Seungyoun said suddenly. Wooseok almost thought he was just joking around but he knew when Seungyoun was serious and he was. He was not joking. “I like you so much it physically hurts sometimes. I don’t even know how it started but at one point I just couldn’t go on with my day without seeing you. I’m pretty sure I just made a fool out of myself between all the trainees trying to make up excuses to come and see you while you were practicing. It’s even worse now, there isn’t a moment I can stop thinking about you. I always want you to be happy and healthy. This is the reason why I care so much, I can’t only be a decent friend to you when I want to be something more.” 

Seungyoun took a breath before smiling. Wooseok saw the admiration in the other’s eyes for the first time and he knew it was for _him. _“Is this a better confession?”

Wooseok really started crying.

“No, no, no. Why are you crying?” There were hands on both of his cheeks now and Wooseok couldn’t do anything other than crying, he knew he looked pathetic but he just couldn’t stop. The tears could have been of happiness or relief or of both, he was not sure; but his throat was now even more sore and he (literally) couldn’t breathe. He knew that much.

Seungyoun liked him. A small part of Wooseok wanted to blame it on his sickness and think it was just another daydream he is having but he knew the hands holding his face and wiping his tears away felt way too warm to be imaginary.  _He likes me_, he kept repeating inside, and he just wanted to keep crying out all the stress and sadness he kept inside but he knew Seungyoun was waiting for him to say something. The worry in his eyes was evident, Wooseok had to give all of his effort to be able to take a deep breath through the pain in his throat before he could speak.

“You... You had to pick now out of all times to do this.” Wooseok knew he was barely audible, his voice almost cracking at the end. He noticed through his tears that Seungyoun was now smiling down at him with his face only an inch away from his. It was only then he could smile back, though he was sure it just looked scary from outside with his puffy eyes and probably very red face.

Seungyoun removed the last drops of tears away and Wooseok’s vision slowly got clear again. He noticed how they were so close, their breaths getting tangled up. 

“I should have said it sooner. I’ve been keeping it inside for too long.”Seungyoun said, almost whispering. “You don’t have to say anything back. Seeing you like this... I just had to say it. And also you kind of forced me into saying it but yeah, that doesn’t matter.”

“You are so stupid.” Wooseok’s words obviously held no malice and Seungyoun let out a giggle. Wooseok knew if he tried he could start crying again. He never felt something this intense about anyone before, no one ever made his heart ache simply by doing nothing; but now it was what he always felt looking at Seungyoun. 

Without thinking twice, Wooseok brought his hand out of where it was tucked under the blanket and he held Seungyoun’s cheek. It felt colder against his warm hand but it was very pleasant. Everything about Seungyoun was more than pleasant.

It took a moment for Seungyoun to collect himself and then he was looking at Wooseok again, his eyes slightly bigger and his lips slightly parted. Wooseok couldn’t wait any longer.

“I love you.” It felt like a breath of fresh air saying it. Wooseok knew Seungyoun wouldn’t have any idea how long Wooseok waited for this. “I love you so much it physically hurts.”

Wooseok wished he could know what happened inside Seungyoun’s head the next 5 seconds. At first his eyes got even bigger, then they were filled with so much warmth that he felt on fire. Next came the determination and Wooseok felt his own eyes widen at that, but there was no time for him to be prepared for what happened right after.

First thing Wooseok noticed was how Seungyoun’s lips felt as warm as his eyes. They were warm and  soft and gentle yet the way Seungyoun was kissing him felt firm and desperate and Wooseok couldn’t help but tremble. Next he realized it was _really_ Seungyoun who was kissing him and then it was just automatic, he closed his eyes and kissed him back. 

Wooseok kissed him desperately, like his life depended on it, and maybe it actually did. His hands found their way into Seungyoun’s hair in no time and he pulled him down even more. When Seungyoun moaned into the kiss and Wooseok almost let one out himself, he opened his mouth right after to let Seungyoun in and everything about this felt so right, like it was meant to happen all along, their mouths fitting like puzzle pieces.

He imagined how it would be like kissing Seungyoun many times but there was no way any of his scenarios could come near to this. Seungyoun’s hands were always on the move, first it was in his hair, then he moved down to his neck and Wooseok could only tremble when his fingers found their way behind his ears. Seungyoun learned his sensivity very quickly and he kept brushing his fingertips over. Wooseok’s trembles turned into moans in no time and Seungyoun swallowed each of them, never stopping moving his lips.

Then it just got too much and Wooseok knew he could lose both his mind and sanity if this kept going; but he just couldn’t stop. He never knew he needed this until he knew what it felt like, Seungyoun’s body against his, their lips moving together, and he thought he could be okay losing everything else if it meant he could have this for as long as he could.

Wooseok felt so alive yet he also felt like he is dying. And it was all because of Seungyoun. He knew this was something he could get used to. 

It didn’t last any longer however, Seungyoun left him slowly and Wooseok let out a whine as he lifted up his head so he could catch the other’s lips again. But Seungyoun just sat back up straight this time, like he did in the first place, his face now away from his. Wooseok tried to sit up himself but his body just denied him and he fell back down on to his pillow. “Why...” _Why did you stop?_ He didn’t finish his sentence, he knew he couldn’t sound desperate. Even if he really was.

“I’m pretty sure we had to breathe before one of us suffocated.” Seungyoun said playfully, he was breathing hard and it just proved his point, then he quickly leaned back in and kissed Wooseok’s cheek softly. But it was not enough, Wooseok wanted more. “Not to mention you are sick. We have a photoshoot tomorrow and if you don’t want to look like the way you look right now you have to rest.”

“You talk like your tongue was not in my mouth a moment ago.” Seungyoun laughed and Wooseok hoped his glare was enough of a threat because even if he wanted to just punch the other he really couldn’t move his limbs right now. But he wouldn’t tell that to him. “I don’t care. Just kiss me again.”

It took few minutes of nagging and pouting until Seungyoun gave in and his lips were on Wooseok’s again. Then they kissed again. And again. It was only when they heard Junho yelling he is back that he finally let Seungyoun go — his lips were swollen and his hair was a mess, Wooseok decided this was his second favourite look on him — and he finally realized what they have been doing all this time without thinking of the consequences.

“Oh God. You will end up like me.” He said with regret. Wooseok was sick, even if he wanted to deny it, and it was obvious having sick someone’s tongue down your throat was a terrible idea. Even worse when it kept going on for minutes.

“It’s worth it.” Seungyoun said simply and then Wooseok’s most favourite look of him was right there; a big smile with eyes looking like crescents. “It’s okay to physically hurt if you are the one who’s causing it.”

_Oh fuck_.  Wooseok thought once again.  _ I’m fucking in love. _

**Author's Note:**

> literally just wrote this all today so it’s more like a drabble i guess and it’s really not well written also not betaed but if you somehow made it till here, thank you for reading! <3 keep supporting x1


End file.
